Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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