in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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