I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
