The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
