just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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