The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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