either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
