Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
