Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
