stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
