I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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