I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
