If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
