sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
