jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
So apparently I’m into choking now
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
