i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
