Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
