the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
