that's an acceptable place to lick
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
