Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
