I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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