Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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