he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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