I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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