Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
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