Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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