Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
