Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
