I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
