I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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