I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
