I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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