i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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