remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
