week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
