all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
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