Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
