Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
