so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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