Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
