do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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