You just made me feel so damn special
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
