me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
