I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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