Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
