Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
