We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
