u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
