FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
You are a genius and a whore.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
