He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
