he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
