I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
