So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
sarcasm needs its own font
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
